For richer, for poorer

Flew to Dubai on Tuesday to open a new bookshop and do a signing. It still surprises me that you only have to go away for a few weeks and the place has changed; buildings are rising at the rate of one a day and they are currently attempting the largest skyscraper in the world. I marvel at the builders being able to work at that height, but one hears there are deaths from heat exhaustion and falling from the structures. The labourers are brought in from India, housed in a shanty town and paid $70 a month. Many complain they were promised $250, but even $70 to them is more than they can earn in India, so they stay here for 2-3 years and send the money home to their families. There must be more millionaires per square mile in Dubai than in any city on earth, and here there truly is a division between the rich and the poor.

The signing at Borders went well and took just over 2 hours to complete. I met a lot of interesting people, including many locals who wanted to talk about Dubai and ex-pats who wanted to talk about England. I can understand why young people come here to make their fortune, but I must confess that the heat and lack of any cultural activity meant I wasn’t unhappy to leave after 48 hours.

Today is the first day of the Test Match against the West Indies, where half of our team play half of their team, but let’s hope we at least have an exciting 5 days.

Coming of age

Last night I attended the 21st birthday party of the Bunbury cricket club coupled with the name of their inestimable leader, Dr David English MBE. To say it was a lavish and spectacular occasion would be an understatement. More than a thousand people turned out to support a charity cricket team whose main purpose is to advance the prospects of young cricketers hoping to have a professional career while at the same time raising millions for charity. Among Bunbury's past success are Gooch, Gower, Botham, Hussain, Stewart, Gatting, Atherton, Thorpe, Trescothick, Vaughan, Flintoff, Bell, Collingwood, Cook and Ramprakash. And the latest man to hit the headlines, Adil Rashid. All the greats attended the dinner plus Martin Johnson, Matt Dawson, Will Greenwood, Eddie Jordan, Ian Wright, and the man who got some of the biggest applause of the evening, Eric Clapton, and when I say the biggest applause, I mean for doing nothing other than having his name announced.

The largest sustained ovation came for Stephen Fry's brilliant speech. It was a heart-rending, deeply felt, passionate statement on the state of cricket today, and although it was peppered with sharp and incisive wit, it was the sad and melancholic moments that made you realise that great comedians can make you cry as well as laugh. He rightly received a standing ovation for a speech I would class with the best of Iain MacLeod or Michael Foot. He is a truly remarkable man.

We were entertained in great style by Rory Bremner who resigned as Prime Minister and gave the alternative speech, and by the Bee Gees live on stage. I had the privilege of doing the auction which raised £257,500. The two most popular items were Eric Clapton's Stratocaster 'Blackie' guitar which went for £35,000 and a weekend with Eddie Jordan on his yacht in Monaco to watch the Monaco Grand Prix - this amazing item went for £30,000. Just in passing, every auctioneer dreads having an item you can't get rid of, for which no-one wants to give a penny, you're just stuck up there staring at the wall. This never happens when Mr Nigel Wray, owner of the Saracens is there - he always works out which is the worst item and happily bids £10,000 for it. He, along with Sir Donald Gosling, Paul Beck and George Tsavliris, can be relied upon to come to my rescue when I'm auctioning a one-way Aeroflot flight to Kosovo with no hotel. The evening ended with all the luminaries - 5 former cricket captains, 2 rugby captains and 32 other international sportsmen present, putting themselves in a team photo, and anybody who wanted to sit in the centre as the captain for the night had to pay £1,000 for the privilege; there were 21 guests who jumped at the chance, and the English School's Cricket Association ended up all the better off for it.

Cricket legend

As I write this, the West Indian cricket touring side are landing at Gatwick, minus one of the greatest players the game has ever known, Brian Charles Lara. I am not privy to the reasons for forcing Lara to retire when he clearly wanted to come to England to tour, but I'm sure I speak for millions of cricket fans when I say I would have liked to see him end his career at the Oval giving the English trouble in the fifth Test match, rather than lamely giving in, in the one-day game many of us still do not consider to be cricket. Mr Lara, thank you for all the pleasure and agony you have given cricket lovers. Have a happy retirement.

You don't have to be mad to work here...

Mary and I went to the first night of Somerset Maugham's The Letter at the Wyndhams Theatre staring Jenny Seagrove and Anthony Andrews. It's an old-fashioned play, but Maugham is such a good story-teller that you are carried along with the intricate plot. Anthony Andrews was outstanding as the lawyer defending the cunning Leslie (Jenny Seagrove), and although the ending is different to the powerful 1940 film starring Bette Davis, it is nevertheless effective.

Bill Kenwright always throws a party for his friends and cast after the show, and there is no impresario/producer in England who does it better. His generosity is legendary, so I was disappointed when I saw him roaming around the Waldorf looking disconsolate. John Madejski whispered in my ear that Liverpool had beaten Chelsea, and as Bill is the chairman of Everton, even a good first night didn't cheer him up. As Mary and I were leaving Bill said well maybe Manchester Utd will beat them in the final, which proved impossible 24 hours later as it is AC Milan who has reached the final.

I think to be a theatre producer leaves some doubt as to your sanity, to be a football chairman borders on lunacy, so I'm bound to ask what the combination of both means. Chelsea and Manchester Utd may have been losers, but The Letter is a winner.

The weekend rugby match

On Saturday I attended the final match of the season to watch Cambridge play Harrogate. Our pre-match lunch was attended by 262 people, which our president assured us was by the far highest of any of the teams in our division. In fact the visiting Harrogate president told us they averaged about 40. The success of any sporting club is always down to a handful of people, and we have an outstanding president in Rod Bishop and our chairman Jerry Otter, who are both now talking about scaling the heights of another division. The match itself was won 107-5 and although we scored 15 tries it wasn’t as enjoyable an afternoon as our recent victory over Esher at 40-37, which in my opinion was the best match of the season.

Back to the lunch. During the meal we try to guess what the score will be at the end of the match- 6 goes for £5. I always guess 100 nil, 105 nil, 110 nil, 115 nil, 120 nil, 125 nil, to make sure that I can’t win the £250 prize. Help. Did I get teased this week. Luckily Harrogate scored in the final minutes, so nobody won. My PA has just queried whether the pot rolls over to the next game, but I told her no, Mr Otter is far too cunning - if no-one guesses the exact score, the money goes into the club funds. During the off season, we’re going to build a new stand which will hold 160 people, at a charge of £500 a seat, raising £80,000 which will clear the building cost immediately and continue to give us a profit over the years.

We ended up ninth in Division Two in our first year, but like those football giants, Reading, Wigan and Watford, beware the second year when the opposition has learnt all about you.

Photograph courtesy of Chris Fell