The hills are alive...

I've just received the investment papers for The Sound of Music at the London Palladium. The production will cost £3.75m, and I intend to take a stake and become an angel. The show opens on November 14th, and I'll keep you informed how my investment does. My record over the years has been mixed, though I admit Grease on tour has alone covered any losses on some of the other 100 or so productions - some made a profit, some broke even, but the vast majority showed little or no return.

Rock and Roll

If you get a chance, try and see Tom Stoppard's latest play, Rock 'n' Roll. It's a magnificent tour de force, although you need to be aware that it's a 3 hour production. Sinead Cusack, Brian Cox and Rufus Sewell lead a very fine ensemble cast, which once again reminds us how many fine actors we have in this country, who spend so much of their life out of work.

Pre-publication

This week has been devoted almost entirely to the forthcoming publication of Cat O'Nine Tales. As there are going to be two books, a normal hardback version at £16.99, and a special edition in colour at £25.00, it's more complicated than usual. Ronald Searle has produced 49 drawings, including the wonderful cover (see below), and I'm now able to show you one of the colour pictures, to give you a taste of what the other 48 will be like. Remembering there are 12 short stories (nine picked up while I was in prison), ironically the one I've chosen is to illustrate a story that I came across in Rome quite recently. It's the tale of an Italian footballer who marries an extremely fat woman, with an ending that I hope will make people laugh. It's called In the Eye of the Beholder.

Starting on Thursday, I'll be reading the 12 short stories for the final time, and after I've handed them in on Monday morning, I won't be allowed to make any more changes, as the production team then goes into action to ensure that copies will be on the shelves for publication day, October 6th.

Once I've let go of the manuscript, Mary and I are going on holiday, so no more blogs until I return.

Cat O'Nine Tales

I spent Friday morning with my line editor, Mari. Her job is to go through my manuscript line by line (in this case, CAT O'NINE TALES, to be published in October), picking up any grammatical or logistical errors, from missing capital letters to pointing out that in one of the twelve short stories, I'd mentioned Lincolnshire being in East Anglia.

The Maestro

Ronald Searle has sent his illustrations for my forthcoming book of short stories, Cat O'Nine Tales. He's done 12 magnificent colour portraits, and 36 smaller pictures for inserts throughout the book. As a taster, I'll show you the cover.

Dentist and the aftermath

I hate my dentist - in fact he’s a rather nice chap called Rob - but I still hate him. This time it was only an implant, but I have to return next week to have the stitches removed. I was still in good enough shape to watch the Test Match, which seems to be heading for a draw, and to go to the theatre and see Michael Gambon in Eh Joe - a Beckett piece which I couldn’t make head or tail of.

On Saturday I drove down to Chichester to speak at the Literary Festival, and dropped in on the way to see Patrick Moore, who hadn’t been able to make our 40th wedding anniversary because he’s now housebound. Two hours of jolly fun. His first love remains cats - he has three, and a house full of photographs of other cats. His second love is cricket - we watched the Test Match together on his tiny tv, and his third love is astronomy - for which he has renowned world-wide fame.

I first met him on the QEII many years ago when he was giving lectures at midnight - Stars in the Skies - and I was giving talks on writing. He still has very strong political feelings, being a supporter of UKIP, hoping that they'll win a seat at the next election. Sitting in his study, surrounded by medals and awards, reminded me of the staggering life he has led. He didn’t go to university because at the age of 16 he told the authorities he was 18 so that he could join the RAF and be involved in the second world war. I suppose his greatest achievement - for laymen like myself - is that he was mapping the moon before computers were thought of, which is why NASA used him so extensively for the first landing. Fans will be delighted to hear that he is still tapping away on his 1908 Remington typewriter, which he refuses to replace with modern gadgetry. He describes me as archaic because I still write by hand, whereas he is simply prehistoric. If there is a lovelier, more decent man in England, I have yet to meet him.

Ian Botham vs Martin Johnson (no quarter given)

Attended a different type of theatre yesterday, when I was asked to umpire a charity cricket match between Ian Botham's Bunbury XI and Darren Gough's International side. Watching Devon Malcolm bowl to Andy Flower (one of the great Test batsmen of all time) was of course top-flight stuff, but I have to confess the encounter between Martin Johnson (bowler - former captain of the England World Cup winning rugby team) versus Lawrence Dallaglio (batsman -also former England captain) was a sight to behold - neither man giving an inch. A couple of incidents bear this out - Dallaglio glanced one of Johnson's balls to fine leg, and Joe Worsley (England rugby team) allowed it to pass him and reach the boundary. Johnson left Worsley in no doubt of his opinion on his fielding. Worsley slunk back to his position, mumbling under his breath, and a few minutes later took a brilliant catch.

The catch of the afternoon though, was taken by Will Greenwood (another victorious member of the world cup rugby side), who took out of the sky a one-handed running catch that any Test player would have been proud of. So shocked was the crowd that they didn't applaud. Truth was, it was so startling, they couldn't believe he'd done it. Darren Gough bowled with his usual fire and told anyone willing to listen that he still wanted to be in the England One-Day side. And he ended up collecting the cup because his side made 257 in 25 overs, whereas the Bunbury XI could only manage 255, and lost by 2 runs.

A thoroughly worthwhile day ended with a dinner, during which Lawrence Dallaglio, Jason Leonard (the most capped rugby player in English history), Darren Gough and Phil Tufnell answered questions, and I conducted the auction. Dallaglio didn't leave the audience in any doubt that he thought the current England rugby coach should fall on his sword. I arrived home exhausted - standing around in the sun all day is much more tiring than I realised.

Alec Guinness vs Derek Jacobi (score draw)

Attended a performance of John Mortimer's A Voyage Around My Father at the Donmar Theatre on Tuesday evening. I saw the original at the Haymarket some 30 years ago with Alec Guinness and Jeremy Brett, and I remember thinking how good it was then. Mary and I had a chat to John Mortimer when we were in Stratford a couple of weeks ago, and he told us he thought this production was even better. Derek Jacobi gave a fine performance as the curmudgeonly blind barrister, and was backed up by a very strong cast. Highly recommended.

A New Week

As I only had 3 hours sleep on Saturday night and 4 hours sleep on Sunday night, my training session this morning was a disgrace.

I'm much looking forward to Wednesday when I'm umpiring a Bunbury charity cricket match at the Hurlingham Club. Let me warn any players, that once they reach 50, they will be given out LBW the moment the ball touches their pads...

Art and Cricket

Earlier in the week I attended a very interesting art exhibition at Browse & Darby in Cork Street, to see the work of Stuart Pearson Wright. I've been following his career for the past ten years, and have no doubt that he's the new Hockney. I look forward to watching that career advance over the next ten years.

The final copies of Ronald Searle's work in colour arrived on Wednesday. I consider myself very privileged to have the next book (Cat O'Nine Tales) illustrated by the maestro.

On Thursday I attended a charity dinner for Ashley Giles, and was delighted to see that both he and Michael Vaughan looked in such good form. The next morning, I learnt that Michael will not be going to Australia to lead us in our defence of the Ashes.

40th Wedding Anniversary

The most important event this weekend was the celebration of my and Mary's 40th Wedding Anniversary on Saturday night. As it was held on the lawns and in a marquee, I was grateful that the sun shone between 7pm and 8pm for the reception, and not until the last guest drove out of the gate at 2am did it start to rain.